Techno Rant Edition This One

Aloha everyone! You are perilously close to reading another edition of my techno-rant! Turn back now, before my delightful sense of humor and quirky, skewed perspective tickles your funny bone and stimulates your cerebral cortex. Or not.

Normally, I have some grand issue or latest technology blurb that the Interwebs or the ‘liberal media’ is kicking around and generally mucking up, while over-sensationalizing or under-appreciating the importance and/or significance of the tech the talking heads are jabbering about.

Because really, the last thing in the world you should do is ask an ‘old’ person about technology. Seriously, everyone knows, (That is at LEAST as old as me, anyway), that  if you have a technical problem, question, or issue, you ask a kid.

Ya, that’s right. Ask a kid. The Mobile Generation. Doesn’t matter if it’s yours or someone else’s, they likely know the answer. Whether or not you can understand WTH they just said is another story, but that is on you.

The Mobile Generation is the latest gen, the group to whom we will be passing off these massive deficits caused by wars they didn’t start and for cutting Social Security Checks that they may never get their fair share of. But, what the heck. They will figure it out, right?

But they are also the brightest, most connected, quickest responding, techno-able, game-console button-pushers EVAR! What this means for a world and a country, I have absolutely no idea. I am an optimist though and I doubt they could screw it up worse than it has been already.

From a technical standpoint though, I believe that a relative comparison to the capacity and capability of this generation would be to use a computer model of Megahertz, or the speed with which data is transferred between transistors or in this case, humans.

An old model of a computer had little memory, little storage and few transistors and the CPU could only process data at a specific rate. Overloading it just causes a crash, or a lag, or a simple inability to compute. As computers evolved, they were able to process data more quickly, in larger chunks, thereby resulting in move capacity to move and use the information being fed to it.

Don’t forget the old axiom: GIGO That’s right, Garbage In, Garbage Out. It’s not good enough that it processes info, it must process correct information. But, I digress. I liken the human experience to computing on this level of speed and capacity and the increasing amount of data passing between transistors (humans) at an ever increasing rate of speed.

So, our precious keiki, our very own Mobile Generation, are like these transistors across the planet, exchanging data at an ever increasing rate of speed and resulting in more information being exchanged across borders, with new ideas and alternate views that are expanding the capacity of our ability to understand, formulate new ideas and strategies and solve problems. Like I said, I am an optimist at heart, though a cynic for humorous reasons.

I read an article yesterday ridiculing this constant overload and the shallowness of it all. A great quote from the article: : "... in that technology is turning us into ever-stupider, ever-strunger-outer attention anorexics with a thirst for nothing but meme gristle and Internet lists..."

Read the full article at GIZMODO, here: http://gizmodo.com/5933688/its-ok-to-be-a-hater-because-everything-is-bad

I am not far behind that, but again cynicism for humor’s sake is a given. I believe we owe these kids a larger allowance at least, because without them you will NEVER be able to program your Droid or iPhone for streaming the latest installment of ‘Housewives of Orange County’ or whatever your dirty little secret TV show addiction is.

I go back and forth between this idea of information I should distribute through these emails I foist on my unsuspecting audience. I don’t always want to include links because anyone can link to anything, anywhere and even though there is a lot of great info, most people can figure out how to find the information they want. If they only KNEW what information they were looking for or how to compose a proper Google search, they would be fine.

My recommendation is to always keep your search specific, but not too far defined or with too many words. Linking ideas with words that don’t seem to make sense sometimes works better because it filters your more complex ideas into a matrix that is likely to produce better results. I am trying to come up with a good example…. Hold on. BTW, if you search for Google on Google you will break the Internet! J

Here is a link that users of MS Word might appreciate: How to use MS Word as a desktop publishing tool.

Alright, back to the ‘useful’ part of this missive, say for instance you want to Google ‘The Mobile Generation’? Of course that alone would result in a billion hits in 0.00009 seconds and produce a couple useful links that will likely inspire you to further define your search to reduce your results further.

Such as ‘mobile generation blackberry’, which will convince you that the phone I am using is for old men! Be that as it may, I am the Demystifier of Technology and your best friend and first line of defense against the most annoying and irritating aspects of computing such as the every present syndrome of  ‘Open close, Open Close, Open Close, Open Close, Open Close, Open Close, Open Close, Open Close, Open Close, Open Close. Ope… oh no!’

Commonly known as ‘Out of System Resources’ this is such a common issue and I get a lot of bitter emails regarding these types of crashes but I am always amazed by people that Open and Close their applications, the same applications, over and over and over and over again and then wonder why their system is bombing.

Hey there is a Google Search for you: ‘memory leak open close applications’.  Enjoy! Here is a funny picture about Google Searching by Parents.

I hope you enjoyed this sidebar of distraction whilst awaiting more productive and profitable efforts. As always, MB Technologies LLC is ready to help you design, deploy, decide and decry the latest technology.

We also can help you design your website with our latest addition, Gerald Taber, and Optimize your Search Engine results.

No, we are not a one-stop shop, but we can help with the inundation of techno-babble and competing platforms to gain your attention and take your money. But you don’t have to take our word for it, ask your kid!