Answers and Opinions to Todays Questions Tomorrow!

Aloha. Here's my opinion or answer to some computer questions I get asked regularly: (BEWARE! Humor lurking)

1. If I own a Mac will it prevent me from being exposed to vulnerabilities on the Internet?

Answer: Yes! And, they never crash, don't use electricity, run at the speed of light, make chocolate ice cream and are FREE! If you believe every ad that you watch on the tube, then you are a victim of your own gullibility. They do have a lower exposure, but they are not invulnerable, except in Steve Jobs mind.

2. What is this 'Cloud Computing' I hear everyone talking about?

Answer: Oh! The Clouds are Beautiful today! They are magical and mysterious pillows of light and energy that are in every diagram of networks and the Internets you have ever seen. However, the real answer is less cool. Ever use GMail? HotMail? Yahoo Mail? Yeah, that is 'Cloud Computing'. Whoop-Dee-Dee. If all your info is stored on the Internets (The Cloud) and if you don't have a computer and an Internet connection, you don't have access to your data. Cure all? Answer to all things Internet? Doubt it.

3. Seriously though, how can I get infected even though I have up-to-date anti-virus software?

Answer: Because your IT guy sucks. Nah! Joke! ;) No, the problem is, there are different avenues to exploit vulnerabilities within your system, the bad guys are working 24/7/365 to trick you into falling into their traps and your bad habit of opening every email and clicking on every link sent to you increases your exposure exponentially. Seriously though, website infections are the most effective form of distributing FakeAV attacks, malware, trojans and viruses, which make million$$ of $$ for the bad guys. Using Firefox or Chrome instead of Internet Explorer lower your exposure to these infections. Using Uncommon sense lowers your exposure further.

4. Should I upgrade to Windows 7?

Answer: Yes! Send me your money now! Ha ha. Face it, in an office where security is enforced through policies, etc., the compelling reasons aren't as cost effective as we would hope. You can't 'upgrade' XP to Windows 7, you have to export settings, install Windows 7, then reinstall all your applications, then import those settings. YOUCH! Expen$ive and time consuming. However, the features of Windows 7 are numerous and desirable in the workplace and at home. So, if buying a new computer, embrace Windows 7, lower your users privileges accordingly and utilize the UAC to your advantage! ;)

5. What is UAC? Answer: Under Achiever's Club? Upper Atmospheric Clouds? No. User Access Control. It's how Windows 7 forces a user to elevate their rights to run programs, etc., to avoid unnecessary exposure to programs trying to take control of your computer. Kind of a pain sometimes, but worth it.

6. Which computer model should I buy?

Answer: The one that fits your budget and does every thing you need it to. Of course, I have some fav brands and models, but you know they change every single day. Always go for the biggest bang for the buck and for laptops, insist on a 3 year warranty, because any laptop that has a 1 year warranty only, (unless a disposable unit like a netbook), will cost you more than the price of replacement for almost any repair, once that year is up.

7. Why is my home computer SO much faster than THIS one!

Answer: Because it's at home where you wish you were. But SRSLY folk, our work systems are burdened with many applications, services and settings that are not on a home system and never will be. Just authenticating to a domain controller (server) requires several layers of security and communication between the systems that slows things down. So, try and be patient.

8. Why do you sound so grumpy when I call you on the phone?

Answer: I have an aversion to technology in the form of handsets. FML! I am afraid it's my mom calling me again to make sure I am wearing clean underwear in case I get into an accident. I am a man, therefore cannot multi-task. Phone call + walking = BRAIN FREEZE! I prefer emails for audit trail purposes, because the older I get, the more I forget. Real Answer: I am just a grumpy old white guy! :)

Hope this helps, hope it made you LOL! If you have any questions you would like me to answer, let me know.